mix two shades of dark and we get the night

hey all,


still here at the farm :)

a few nights ago, while we stood out in the night, familiar constellations mapped out the sky, jahren was in my arms and we looked upwards. there are no light pollutions here (i'd like to think so) and it means more stars. it even means milky way...imagine that.

anyway, jahren had a big bulky yellow flashlight and he decided to turn it on. he thought maybe the stars could be seen better that way but as the dusty beam of light shone into the sky, it darkened the night even more. he explored the sky for a bit, shining it to the stars here and there. once the light hit a patch of stars, they'd disappear until the beam moves away. when jahren realised the effects of the flashlight, he clicked it off and ah, there they all were. in their own places, all across the sky with a hint of milky way. i felt him relax through his happy sigh and he settled deeper into my arms. we were all quiet for a while, studying the sky before we walked over to the edge of the pastures.

(same spot but this was taken in october)

once again, ontop of the fence with my sisters, niece and wyns, it occurred to me at how these flashlight beams can suddenly narrow down the world. it pinpoints the information to imagined deer eyes (which turns out to be only a queen anne lace bloom.) in its forced focal points, it shuts out our surroundings. even my own hands and it chases away the thoughts that would naturally be in this kind of darkness. with the lights off, not only could we see the horizon, we could see the grass blades in striped glows, we could see the shapes of each other on the fence posts and it wasn't so spooky anymore. (for wyns)

i liked knowing, while sitting on the fence and holding my children, that in some cases, all you got to do is mix two shades of dark and we get the night.

now, dont get me wrong. i am not entirely against using flashlights. for instance, tonight, jahren realised he lost his mood ring.

my ring!!! its gone!!

uh oh, i thought. it must be somewhere outside.

mom, we must look for it!

yes, we will look for it in the morning. okay?

his eyes got teary and he looked at me with mom-you-can-do-anything-right? look.

oh dear. how the heck can i not try?

we took our own flashlights and combed outside for his ring. after some hopeless search, i could hear jahren starting to cry which compelled me to try for a few more minutes.

true bis, right between my feet, i found this *ding!* of the reactive sparkle a metal would do to a beam of dusty light. jahren was a ways from me and i waved the light at him, swept the beam over to my feet and waited for his realisation. perking up, he asked, you found it?!!!

yup. come and get it.

i got this delicious grateful hug from jahren and i guess we could say the flashlight was what garnered it.

ah, enough of this gab. going to post and sleep with the spiders.


love to all